


I wanna ruin our friendship

by Boring-kun (MissMemorielle)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, bottom!asahi, mild body dysmorphia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 09:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4560276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMemorielle/pseuds/Boring-kun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We should be lovers instead.</p><p>Alternatively: A story, in which Asahi blushes, sweats and thinks too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wanna ruin our friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Projects onto Asahi like a motherfucker. (The title is from "Jenny" by Studio Killers. Check it out, it's dope.)

Asahi takes a short breather during practice, sipping his water and letting his eyes roam over the other players on the team. They’re a ragtag team still, but somehow it works – and as they practice together, they will only keep on growing stronger.

Some things still need work, however… Kageyama and Hinata are arguing about something as usual, pushing Daichi's buttons as the captain is closing in on them with stiff movements and an even stiffer face.

Kiyoko comes up to Asahi, silently offering him a towel, which he accepts with a smile. She nods and goes back to jotting down notes as he looks back on the court.

Daichi has reached his victims and Sugawara is standing before the frightened duo, calmly buffering the situation. Asahi doesn’t blame them for being alarmed – Daichi really is scary when he’s mad.

Suddenly, there is a loud crash ringing through the gym and Asahi jumps in place, turning to find Tanaka and Noya arguing and sending rude hand-gestures each other's way. One of them has pushed over a stack of equipment and now they're trying to clean up before the captain really loses his temper.

Noya is cleaning frantically, throwing subtle glances Daichi's way to make sure he's not locking in on them. Asahi doesn’t look away, letting his eyes travel up and down the libero, the bright orange uniform, his spiky hair, the well-defined muscles of his arms and legs.

Abruptly, Noya's eyes shoot up and meet his dead on - the reaction is instantaneous. Asahi can feel his face go red as he quickly looks away, completely dedicating himself to towelling his face dry. His heart is efficiently trying to beat its way to freedom, and he has to place a hand over his chest just to make sure that it doesn't.

He can suddenly feel Daichi stare intensely at his back, and hurries back to practicing.

During clean-up it happens again. Noya turns and looks at him – his expression intense and serious, the way he looks when he is concentrating during a game. Asahi shivers under his gaze, feeling that level of focus directed solely on him. It makes heat build low in his abdomen, throat tightening. Wiping his sweaty palms on his shorts, he reflects on feeling scared, excited and something dark, unnamed. _Turned on_ , a low voice in his head supplies, but he ignores it and starts to help clean up the gym.  
  
Noya stops beside him after they’ve finished tidying, looks at him with expectation and an unvoiced question, conveyed through facial expressions. Asahi wonders when he learned to read someone as loud and vocal as Noya through his silences as well.

“Do you want to come over?” He offers, glancing at Noya and drying some sweat from his forehead. “I’m home alone.” He adds. Noya’s grin is slow moving and broad, and it makes Asahi’s spine tingle. “Yeah, of course. Let’s go, we can shower at your place.”

 

This is nothing new. It is something slow moving that has been growing between them for a while now, and Asahi can’t put his finger on when whatever they have together started to move from purely platonic to something more. He knows this is something they ought to talk about, knows it from the nervous, tight feeling in his stomach, the unpleasant sensation of loss when he sees Noya and Tanaka follow Kiyoko around.

Asahi and Noya are good _friends_ , but they are something more as well – the problem is that Asahi doesn’t know _what_ that something is, but he is all too aware of what he wants them to be.

He gets the feeling maybe Sugawara knows, because sometimes when they’re leaving together he looks at them knowingly and grins. The idea frankly makes Asahi a bit uncomfortable, so he pushes the thought away before he starts sweating.

 

They walk with some space between them on their way to Asahi’s house. Noya picks up a stick at some point, and he whips it mindlessly against the different bushes and fences they pass.

Asahi feels on edge, glancing into passing gardens to make sure no angry owners will come out yelling at them for ruining private property – with Asahi’s luck they will definitely think that they are an actual pair of lawbreakers instead of just a couple of normal high schoolers on their way home _._

 _'If anyone is a delinquent between the two of us, it would be Noya,’_ his brain supplies in an unusually snarky moment. 

Asahi resists the compulsion to shrink in on himself. There is something about being on the court, feeling the sting in his hand when he hits a spike, the adrenalin, the teamwork, something uniquely about volleyball which makes him feel at home in his own body – where he can stand tall proudly.

This is also a part of Asahi that seems to pull back in other aspects of his life – sometimes he feels a split between how he feels and how he looks – and consequently in how other treat him.

There are days where he would give a lot to be able to blend more easily in the background, days where the disconnection between body and mind is too great, days where he feels jealous of people like Nishinoya and Hinata.

They possess personalities that seem to fill their bodies to the brim, something that pleasantly surprises people. Asahi feels like there is not enough of him to fill the largeness of his limbs sometimes, feels uncomfortable with the expectations that are placed upon him.

Maybe he just wishes that since he cannot get rid of some inherent fragility, that at least his looks would match it.

‘ _Glass-heart_ ,’ he thinks.

He could never mention this to Nishinoya of course – it would be like asking the libero to punch him. He feels ungrateful for having these thoughts – he knows Hinata would give a lot to possess the same height and strength as Asahi – and he  _is_  grateful for it, when it comes to volleyball.

It’s not something Asahi completely understands himself, so how could he explain it to someone else?

It is hot out today, so Noya suggests that they stop for ice cream - his treat. Asahi is a nervous, fumbling mess all the while until they're both out of the store and safely tracking home, Noya eating his ice cream in two bites, Asahi holding onto his until it starts to melt and makes his hand sticky.

  
  
He is hyper-aware of Noya while he fumbles with the keys to his house, hands sweaty and nervous excitement making his throat feel tight. Noya is bouncing back and forth on his heels, always in motion – as far as Asahi can tell, the other boy is not feeling the same kind of fretfulness he is currently facing.

‘ _But then again, I have a tendency to stress about things less important than_ _this_ ’, he thinks wryly as he unlocks the door and steps inside.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” Noya calls out while closing the door, voice loud in the silence. They place their shoes in the cupboard and shrug of their jackets.

"Do you want something to drink?” Asahi offers, feeling the tension in the air. It’s not as though they never just hang out ( _‘as friends’_ , Asahi’s brain helpfully supplies), but there is something different about the atmosphere knowing that he invited Noya over with the sales-pitch of being alone, the unvoiced agreement that they would do… _Stuff_.

Forcing his thoughts away from that subject before he starts to blush, he looks at Noya for an answer.

“Sure.” Noya answers, walking into the kitchen with Asahi following behind. He has been here enough times that he knows where pretty much everything is located.

Asahi starts to heat up some water, thinking that tea will both help him calm down and allow some breathing space – sometimes Noya is so intense it wouldn’t surprise Asahi if he started giving of electric charges.

Right now, said boy is leaning against the counter while Asahi frets around the kitchen, fetching cups and tea leaves. They make casual conversation about volleyball, their team members, school and other various topics while the water heats up.

Soon the tea is ready – green for Asahi, lemon for Noya. The feeling of the solid and warm mug between his hands is calming, and he’s starting to relax a bit.

After a few moments the cup is half-empty and lukewarm. Asahi is talking about something trivial, not really paying that much attention to the conversation as his thoughts have started wandering again. Noya has started to move from where he’d been leaning on the counter, cup of tea abandoned.

Swallowing slightly, Asahi decides the best course of action is to put his tea away with Noya closing in. He stops in front of Asahi, staring intently into his eyes.  

A hand on his neck is encouraging him to bend down a little, and then there is a warm mouth meeting his. Noya’s lips are usually a bit chapped and dry, but he kisses with as much enthusiasm as he does everything else, and Asahi enjoys the sensation. Noya is licking along his lower lip, and Asahi opens his mouth without hesitation, the kiss turning more heated.

Suddenly there is a hand at his crotch, palming him through his pants. The sensation drags a startled yelp out of Asahi, which makes Noya grin and muffle his chuckles against his shoulder.

“What was _that_ , that wasn’t a sexy sound at all!” His hand doesn’t cease, and soon Asahi is moaning softly, eyes sliding shut.

“Yeah, that’s more like it,” Noya mumbles encouragement, his eyes at Asahi’s face.

Asahi bends his head so they can kiss, slowly being pushed backwards until his back hits the wall.  
“Wait,” Asahi pushes gently at Noya’s shoulders. “We should shower?” It comes out as a question.

“Hmm.” Noya starts trailing small kisses on the side of his throat.

“What’s the point, we’re going to get dirty again immediately.” He grins at the blush working its way up Asahi’s face. “We can shower after I’m done with you.”

 

It’s something that feels nice – to be able to be just the two of them, to not only trust Noya to have his back, but trust him with everything. Be able to give up control, stop worrying and to stop _thinking_ about everything – to be able to just feel and act, because someone is there to show him the ropes.

Asahi sometimes wonder, in idle moments, if this is what Noya feels like normally – the lack of anxiety, the complete trust that if he falls it will be all right anyway, and the freedom to be able to act on his instincts all the time.  
  
They made their way to the bedroom with some difficulty – mostly due to Noya’s constant attempts at both kissing, climbing and walking Asahi backwards towards the room, or even trying to do all things at once – but after a while, they end up on the bed together.

They kiss slowly, hands starting to wander and tugging on clothes. Noya breaks away from the kiss so he can pull off his sweater and start to drag Asahi’s off him – he ends up tangled in the sweater, and they spend some moments struggling to get him out. When he’s finally free, there is silence for a beat and then they burst into laughter.

“Doesn’t this happen way too often?” Noya says, throwing the sweater to the side.

“Well, it’s because you insist on undressing me, and it always ends up caught in my hair because of the angle.” Asahi’s eyes follow the sweater – a small part of him wishes Noya wouldn’t treat the clothing so carelessly, it’s a school uniform after all.

Suddenly Noya is right in front of him again, pressing his body against his.  
“I like undressing you.”

Asahi groans and can feel his cheeks heating up when Noya tackles him to the bed, placing small kisses all over his face.  
“You’re being embarrassing.”

“Yeah.” Noya agrees happily, rolling his hips firmly against Asahi’s. “Time to change it up.”

Asahi can feel Noya’s erection pressing down on his own, heat spiking up his spine and making him shudder. They kiss for a while, and Asahi is so turned on he’s almost dizzy.

In a moment of inspiration, he rolls them over, blushing at Noya blinking up at him in surprise.He looks away from Noya’s face; lets his eyes wander over his body, lingering at the many bruises that decorate the libero’s skin.

Stroking along his torso, Asahi moves slowly down the bed while pressing soft kisses to some of the bruises. He stops when he reaches the waistband of Noya’s pants, glancing up at him in a silent question.

Noya’s skin looks more flushed than usual, and he nods quickly and lifts his hips off the bed to make it easier for Asahi to remove the pants. Noya’s boxers are white and a wet spot is already starting to spread where the erection is pressing up against the fabric.  

Asahi drags the boxers down slowly, hearing Noya suck in a breath when the fabric catches on his dick.

He strokes the dick a couple of times, steeling himself, before leaning down and licking a stripe up the side. Noya’s moan is instantaneous, and Asahi feels a little more confident as he takes the head into his mouth.

It’s heavy and hot on his tongue, and even though the taste isn’t anything special, the slick from Noya’s pre-cum and the sounds he is making are more than enough to excite Asahi in turn. He bobs his head up and down a couple times, stroking the parts he can’t reach a with a hand and trying to relax his throat to take it all in one go.

He ends up going down too fast at the same moment Noya thrusts up his hips, and has to pull away when he feels the choking sensation bring tears to his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He coughs out, Noya sitting up and shaking his head in reply.

“Hey, no – I couldn’t keep in control, that was my fault. It felt too good – anyway, it’s probably good to move on if you don’t want me to blow my load right now."

Asahi hides his face in his hands as Noya laughs brazenly and pushes him down again. Pants and boxers are discarded, Noya leaning up for a kiss.

In this position, his dick is pressing against Asahi’s stomach, and he has to resist the temptation to just rut his way to completion.

“Alright, I’ll get the condoms and the lube.” He sits up and reaches for the drawer in the bedside table where he knows they’re located.

Laying the condom down next to them on the bed, he picks up the little tube filled with silicone-based lube and presses some out on his fingers. It’s sticky and cold, but he tries to warm it up a bit by rubbing his fingers together. Asahi pulls a pillow down to place under his hips to help prop him up.

“Are you ready?” He strokes Asahi’s hip and looks up at the other man.

Asahi swallows, throat suddenly dry and heart beating hard in his chest – but in a good way.  
“Yeah.”

Noya circles his opening, rubbing against it and spreading the lube before carefully pushing one finger inside, drawing out a low moan from Asahi. Taking his time, Noya lets him get used to it before inserting another finger, occasionally giving Asahi’s dick a few strokes.

He keeps going, spending a while stretching him out, the room being filled with the sound of panting and moans, both of them flushed and sweating. ~~~~  
“Asahi.”

Asahi sighs, tries to remember how to formulate a sentence. Everything feels soft and far away, except the feeling of Noya’s hands on him, _in_ him – it’s like the only thing keeping him grounded, the warmth of his skin.

“Asahi, answer me.” The hands leave him, and it’s like the lack of heat suddenly pulls him back into reality.

“I – uh, huh?” He says, eloquently.

“Asahi, you were crying.”

“Oh.” He brings one hand up to dry away the tears that are tracking down his cheeks – not that many, to his relief.

“I’m OK, it’s not… It’s just intense. But -” he can feel his face heating up, “-in a good way, good-intense I mean, it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Hmm. You seemed a mile away though.” Noya gives him a sharp stare, and starts to pull his fingers out, resulting in a shuddering intake of air from Asahi.  
“Yeah, I’m sorry, it’s fine, _please don’t stop.”_

Noya groans at that, leans down to plant kisses all over Asahi’s chest, before swirling his tongue around a nipple. He uses the hand not otherwise occupied to caress the other one, taking his time stretching him out.

After a few moments of this, Asahi gently tugs on Noya’s shoulder to signal for him to scoot further up the bed so they can kiss. Sighing softly when Noya complies and bends down, feeling safe and fulfilled at the slow movement of their lips. When they pull back, both their lips are swollen and slick, making the fire in his belly burn stronger.

Asahi is almost ready now, so he picks up the lube lying next to them on the bed, squeezes some out in his hand.

Noya pulls out his fingers, picks up the condom and swiftly opens it up and rolls it down his erection while Asahi spends the moment trying to warm the lube up a bit.

When the condom is in place, he sits up to slick up Noya’s dick with firm strokes, producing moans from the other man.  Noya gently pushes on Asahi’s chest, beckoning him to lie down while he moves further in between his legs.

His hair is still mostly spiky, but their activities have ruffled it up a bit, some strands of dark hair have succumbed to gravity and are clinging to his flushed skin. He’s nearly _glowing_ , and Asahi can feel his heart speed up at the sight – in moments like this he can’t understand that he is this lucky, that Noya is here with him.

“Hey, stop spacing out,” Noya says, eyes sharp and pupils blown.

“Are you ready?” He is leisurely stroking up and down Asahi’s tights, who swallows and nods. “Yeah.”

Then Noya is lining himself up and steadily pushing into Asahi. He can feel the blunt tip of Noya’s erection entering slowly, feels heat spread through his body and his mouth falling open. Noya is still gazing intently at him, doesn’t break eye contact until his pelvis is flush with Asahi’s ass – then he looks down to see where they’re joined together, and Asahi throws an arm over his eyes, overwhelmed.

“It’s erotic.” Noya supplies in reaction to Asahi’s embarrassment, and he groans in reply.

“Hey. Asahi. You should look at me.” He says with a slow roll of his hips.  
Taking deep breaths, trying not to get too caught up in the feeling of push and pull from Noya’s steady thrusting, Asahi lets his arm fall down by his side and tries to focus on Noya’s face.

Pleasure is written all over his features, and when he gives a confident grin combined with an angled trust with his hips Asahi moans loudly.

It’s hard to focus his vision when Noya is fucking into him hard and slow, hands gripping his hips hard enough to leave bruises later. He is hitting his prostate more often than not, and both the heat and the sound of their moans are rising as Noya increases the speed of his thrusts.

Asahi can’t keep his eyes open and his thoughts are erratic – it feels like Noya’s hands are everywhere, like _he_ is everywhere, draped over him and inside him and he’s enveloped in the particular smell of him which Asahi loves. The smell of hair styling products, sweat – not unpleasant but arousing, because it’s _Noya_ – and something spicy and warm, which Asahi can’t pinpoint. 

Asahi feels like he’s melting. Suddenly Noya is slowing down until he comes to a stop, still fully sheathed inside Asahi. He wriggles his lower body slightly, wordlessly trying to convey that Noya should continue. Abruptly there is a hand at the side of his face, stroking his cheek softly.

“Hey, are you OK?”

Asahi nods, eyes closed.

“Use your _words_ , Asahi.”

“Y-yes, ah. Please keep going, Yuu _._ ”

The hand stroking his cheek stills, and Asahi vaguely realises that he said something strange – but he’s too far gone to care about it right now, especially when all of a sudden Noya is pounding into him with the vigour of a small hurricane.

He can feel his skin tingling, his stomach so tight and hot it’s almost _uncomfortable_ , every muscle taut with tension.

“I’m so close.” He moans out, and Noya somehow manages to hit his prostate with every thrust of his hips at the same time as he’s giving Asahi’s cock a couple of loose strokes, and then Asahi is gone over the edge.

Pleasure floods his body, and he can feel his cum landing warm and sticky on his abs as he gasps for air. Noya is still pounding into him, and when Asahi is starting to come down from his high, he thrusts his hips hard into him once and then he’s coming and collapsing on top of Asahi.

The weight of him is heavier and more solid than Asahi expects every time, but he likes it.

Noya caches his breath for a few moments, before pulling his softening cock out. He removes the condom, ties it up and throws it in the trash while getting a box of tissues to clean Asahi up.

When he’s done he lies down, pulls Asahi into his arms and allows himself to become completely relaxed.  

They drift of together like that, and when Asahi wakes up it is dark outside and Noya is snoring softly, wrapped around him. Asahi needs to go to the bathroom though, so he gets up as sneakily as he can, and goes to relieve himself.

When he steps back into the room though, Noya seems to be waking up, looking blearily up at the ceiling and blinking.

“That was awesome. The sex, I mean.” He says, voice slightly hoarse from sleep and the earlier activities. Asahi blushes, but gets into the bed without feeling too embarrassed.

“Yeah…” He agrees, his own voice sounding _wrecked_. He remembers going too fast during the blowjob and choking, which explains that.

Thinking about sex when they’re not actually doing it or about to do so always makes Asahi feel skittish and slightly guilty, for some reason, so he tries to move his thoughts over to other things.

Noya is stretching out next to him, propping the back of his head up on his arms and looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Asahi can feel an overwhelming amount of _fondness_ for this man, this brave, ridiculous and astonishing person who always has his back, who is there to push him when he needs it, who is willing to take him apart and put him together again.

The feeling is replaced with cold dread when he realises that he needs to talk to Noya about whatever this thing they have been doing means.

“I can hear you thinking too hard.” Noya turns his head towards Asahi.  
“Stop shifting around. What’s up?”

“I just…” Asahi trails off, feeling his cheeks heat up and a tight, nameless emotion welling up in his chest.

“I mean, I know you like girls – and obviously you also like men to a certain degree, I mean we’re…” He gestures between their bodies, blush intensifying.  
“Alright so what I’m trying to say is this, with me, is this just a… Are we friends who happen to have sex as well?”

Noya gives him a _look_ , like he’s on the cusp of irritation but still uncertain as to what Asahi is trying to convey.  
“Are you asking if we’re just fuckbuddies?” He says at last, a note of confusion in his voice.

“You don’t have to put it like that…” Asahi mumbles out, hiding his face in his arms.

“Do you _want_ to be just fuckbuddies?”

“Is that a trick question?” He peeks out from behind his arms, feeling apprehensive. _Of course_ he wants to be more than _people who have sex_ , but if the choice is between just friends or friends who sleep together… His stomach is all in knots.

“Honestly, I don’t know if I can keep doing this if it’s just sex. Not that it’s not great, but I have all these feelings and it – it feels wrong to keep on doing this if you don’t have those feelings as well, like I’m deceiving you.” Asahi doesn’t dare to look at Noya’s face right now.

“And, well, it hurts. To imagine you could fall in love with someone else and this would just be something fun that didn’t really matter, and we’ll go back to being just friends and I’ll be heartbroken. So I’d rather that happened sooner than later, because-“suddenly there are lips smashed into his, shutting him up.

When Noya pulls back, Asahi can’t do anything but stare at him in a daze.

“Where did this even come from? Of course, this is more than sex! We’re dating, you big doofus.” Noya gives him a stern look, while Asahi blinks in confusion.

“But… We never talked about it? After we started doing… Stuff… We didn’t really act any different. We… We’ve never been on dates? And-“

“I took you on dates!”

Asahi tries to think back to something that might have counted as a date, feeling confused.

“We ate meat buns after practice!”

“… Yes, but we already did that before we started, um... And most of the time we weren’t alone?” More often than not, Sugawara, Tanaka, Daichi, Kageyama, Hinata or all five of their teammates would end up trailing along with them.

“Ok, I guess maybe those didn’t feel likes dates exactly, but the intention was still there. And you know, I would like to hold your hand or maybe kiss you when we’re out and stuff, but since we haven’t told anyone yet I didn’t. Also you seem like maybe you’d explode at PDA, so there’s that!” Noya is grinning at him, and Asahi feels the familiar warmth in his cheeks.

“I mean maybe I didn’t act all that different but that’s because you’re Asahi! I’m still gonna treat you like you – only with kisses and stuff. And you give me all these fluttery feelings in my stomach and sometimes when you smile my chest gets tight and your hair smells really good – all those things are part of dating right?”

“Oh. I’m… I… That’s… A-Alright then.” Asahi fumbles out. “So - You want to be… I mean, are we boyfriends?”

“Yeah.” Noya answers easily, and then that’s that – weeks of worrying, sexual frustration and guilt dissolved like that.

They lay in comfortable silence for a while, Asahi on the brink of sleep when Noya speaks up.  
“I can’t believe you didn’t figure out we were dating.”

Asahi groans into his pillow.  
  
**The END.**

**Author's Note:**

> Noya is gonna mock him for the rest of their gross, married lives. 
> 
> Augh, this got so fucking mushy. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this maudlin and self-indulgent one shot.  
> This was my first fanfiction ever, go big or go home I guess. I wrote this because I was angry about dumb sex dynamics and stereotypes. And also because I wanted to explore how I interpret Asahi as a character I guess. Thanks 2 my friends who had to suffer through this with me.  
> I also feel it's relevant to point out that English is not my first language, so if the language is awkward in places/if you see any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can correct it and learn from them. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Kudos and/or comments would be very much appreciated!


End file.
